


Bittersweet Memories

by Finley_Fray



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Anxiety, Drug Abuse, Explicit Language, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Multi, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Polyamory, Threesome - F/F/F, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:41:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29113956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finley_Fray/pseuds/Finley_Fray
Summary: Finley Fray  has had a tough upbringing being forced from her father and into an orphanage. Luckily she has two girlfriends who make her world a brighter place.But what happens when something goes wrong?Also on tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/finleyfray
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer/Original Female Character(s), Alex Danvers/Original Female Character(s), Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Maggie Sawyer/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> TW: smut(ish) just a little, some angst, laguage, think that’s all!

Finley struggles to open the door to their apartment. She was tired and her head was hurting so much. She just wants to snuggle with her girlfriends and fall asleep.

“Hey.” Fin looks over and sees Alex walking towards her and embraces her in a hug. “You look like crap.” Fin rests her head on Alex's chest and chuckles.

“Thanks darling, I’m happy to see you too. Is Maggie home yet?” She yawns and Alex leads her to the couch. “I have a killing headache.” Fin sits on Alex and rests her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“She’s picking up some food. Did you take your migraine medicine today?” The redhead asks Fin with a stern look on her face.

“Shoot, I forgot.” The black haired woman whines.

“Here we go again.” Alex sighs. “Did you drink water today? Eat anything?”

“Oh come on, don’t harass me like that. Of course I did drink and eat... we had breakfast, didn’t we?”

“That was yesterday, Finley, this morning you woke up too late and ran off to work. Making a huge mess. Leaving your clothes on the floor. And your wet towel in the bathroom on my clothes. I swear to God, how much water did you drink?” Alex scoffs.

“Well...I didn’t see your clothes, I’m sorry. I didn’t drink water... but I’ve had coffee! And a can of Monster! Or two…” Suddenly her girlfriend stands up, resulting in Fin falling off of her. “Ouch! That hurt.”

“That’s not... I swear I’m going crazy with you!” They hear the door open and Maggie coming into the living room looking at them.

“What are you yelling about?” She frowns and looks at Alex, who looks angrily at Fin. “Maggie, I’m glad you’re here.” The redhead says with a smile. “See, our girlfriend here was wondering why her head hurts so much! Fin, care to tell Maggie how you took your medicine this morning, drank plenty of water and ate three meals?” Her voice is full of sarcasm and Finley curses mentally.

“Oh come on. I’m going to eat now, and drink water and take meds, I swear I just forgot!” She tries to defend herself, but Maggie already looks at her with her stern mother look. “Don’t be mad at me.” Fin puts on her puppy face. “Pwaaseee.” She pouts.

“No, no, don’t give me this face, you know the deal. How can you forget to take care of yourself almost every day?!” Maggie growls flustered. “These are literally the basic things in life. You have to eat, and you have to drink water to survive, and you know after that mission where you hurt your head pretty bad, that you have to take your migraine medicine, otherwise you’ll be in pain. And you should remember it, how you keep forgetting to take care of yourself is beyond me.”

“I don’t know...” Finley looks down, because she did know. She wasn’t taught how to take care of herself. In the orphanage they didn’t care if the kids ate something, they didn’t care if they had something to drink, or walked around in dirty, damaged clothes.

So Fin learnt how to go days without eating, only drinking some sink water. It was normal for Fin. So she grew up, was then thrown out on her 18th birthday, and went to college. She didn’t think of that either. Having not enough money to eat every day, or buy new clothes, having to survive on minimum wage that she was earning with her job. It was hard to manage to study and work 16 hours a day, but she had to stay positive. So when Finley started working in the DEO and earning so much money, she decided she had to save it. Save it in case something goes wrong and she loses her job. But, this drove her girlfriends insane. How she couldn’t do the basic thing, like putting her dirty clothes away. How every time she tried to make laundry, it went wrong on some level. She’d mix dark clothes with white. Sometimes she forgot to add laundry detergent. Or she forgot she put the washing machine on but forgot to dry it. So the clothes stayed there until Alex or Maggie saw it. Finley really tries, she does, but it just escapes her mind every time.

“I’m sorry.” Fin sighs, she wasn’t going to tell them, she doesn't want their pity “I guess I’m just getting distracted.” Maggie scoffs, but goes to hug their girlfriend anyway. Soon Alex joins and they stay together for a bit.

“I did buy dinner, so let’s get you some food, and water, then you’ll take your medicine and we can go to bed.” Maggie kisses her softly and Finley smiles into the kiss.

***

Later as they were in bed, after eating and showering, Finley lay on top of Alex while Maggie was still in the shower.

“Are you still mad at me?” Fin asks, looking in her girlfriend’s brown eyes.

“I’m not mad Finnie.” Alex sighs cupping Fin's cheek. “I was frustrated, of course, I will still be when you do this. But I’m not mad.” She kisses Finley softly, her other hand going to Finley’s back holding her close. The blue-eyed woman sighs happily and wiggles on top of Alex to get more comfortable.

“Fin...” Alex breathes heavily “Stop moving.”

“Why, does it bother you?” Finley smiled devilishly, pressing her leg against Alex’s core and moving her hips. The redhead kisses her girlfriend hard and bends her leg so it was now against Finley too. The shorter woman moans at the sudden pressure, and moves her hips faster.

“Oh, I see you’re better.” Maggie stands there watching her girlfriends making out and humping each other for a few minutes. “So I’m glad I decided not to put any clothes on.” Her girlfriend’s stop and looks at her. Maggie's hair was still wet from the shower, and she only had her towel on. “Can you two just be naked already?” She drops her towel on the floor. “That was quite a nice show you did for me. But, I’m afraid I need to cuff both of you for breaking the rules.”

“B… But... “Alex’s face was almost as red as her hair “We didn’t… We still have all clothes on! We didn’t had sex without you!” She looked at Finley, who already had taken all of her clothes off, she sure was ready. “You’re such a bottom!” Alex scoffs, sure the black-haired woman was so ready for Maggie to cuff her, but Alex tried hard to remain her tough face.

“Agent Danvers, I’m afraid I insist.” Maggie smirks at her redheaded girlfriend, swaying her hips as she approaches the bed.

***

Finley yawns as she opens her eyes and looks at the sleeping face of her girlfriend. The redhead was snoring lightly and she looked so peaceful and cute. Fin snuggles closer and rests her head on her girlfriend's chest.

She knew Maggie had already left for work, feeling a cold spot behind her. The blue-eyed woman was tired after all the fun they had yesterday and didn’t want to get up.

“Shouldn’t you be training rookies at work today?” Alex’s sleepy voice asks. Fin gasps as she realises that the redhead is right, she springs from her bed and looks at the clock.

“Ohhhh shit, J’onn is going to kill me!” She quickly undresses by dropping her clothes on the floor and goes for a quick shower. As fast as she can she dries herself and drops the wet towel on the floor, puts on her combat clothes and runs to work.

It was no fun being at work without Alex, but her girlfriend deserved a day off. They were supposed to have lunch together, but after some robbery that Kara helped Maggie take care of, the blonde informs Fin that her girlfriends can’t make it, so the black-haired woman takes care of all her paperwork that is due soon, and heads to the DEO gym to train a bit.

***

Finley was getting tired from all the punches and running, so she decided to stop and go take a shower. Suddenly she sees a blur and her girlfriend’s sister stands before her.

“Kara, hey, something wrong?” Finley asks as the blonde frowns and looks at her.

“Well Alex asked me to look for you, cause you didn’t answer your phone. You do know what time it is?”

“Ohhhh shit. I forgot, I left my phone at home this morning. What’s the time?” Fin facepalms and looks at Kara. “It’s 10:30, and your girlfriends are going crazy, come on.” She lifts the black-haired woman and speeds her home.

“Thanks Kar.” Finley sighs and opens the door quietly. It doesn’t really help her as she sees Maggie and Alex in the hall waiting for her.

“Where the fuck have you been!? We tried to call you thousands of times, why didn’t you answer!?” Maggie tries to stay calm, but her voice is full of anger.

“I’m sorry! I was in such a rush this morning, I forgot my phone! And I went to work out after sitting down doing paperwork and the time just flew.” Finley tries to calm her girlfriends, but she clearly saw that they were beyond pissed.

They turn and go to the living room, and Fin follows them waiting for their forgiveness. Alex sits on the couch and drinks the rest of her whiskey.

“Guys, come on, I’m sorry, you know I just forgot-”

“That’s it, that’s exactly it! You always forget. Forget to eat, to drink water, to take your medicine. You forget to put your clothes away, forget to do the laundry, forget to go to sleep! Forget to take your phone, to let us know you’ll be late, to let us know you’re okay! Forget to do the groceries, forget to buy some new clothes, to put your towel away instead of dropping it on the floor!” Alex was standing now waving her hands angrily. “Well maybe you got that from your parents, seeing as they forgot you at the orphanage!”

Finley blinks as Alex suddenly goes silent. Her blue eyes are suddenly wet and she turns around and rushes out of their apartment.

***

Maggie looks at Alex in shock. She can’t believe her ears. Alex did not just say that.

“Danvers, what the fuck was that!?” Maggie rushes to the door to follow Finley, and stop her, they need to talk, this is not a good situation. But as soon as she’s outside, Finley is gone, there is no sign of her. She goes back to their apartment and searches for her keys.

“Why are you just standing there like that?! Do you realise what you’ve just done?! That was way too low, I can’t believe you just said that!” Maggie yells at her girlfriend, she was beyond mad. Yes, Fin drives her crazy sometimes, but that doesn’t explain Alex’s behaviour.

“I... I didn’t mean that! It just slipped!” Alex tries to explain herself, but her mind is still processing what just happened. “I didn’t want to say that, I’m sorry!”

“It’s not me you need to apologise to. It’s her, but guess what, she’s gone! And we need to find her, and you really need to try hard, because that, Alex, that was just unbelievable.”

“Where do you think she went?” Alex asked, trying to calm down her nerves. Her mind repeats the words she just said and Alex realises how awful she’d been. But she really didn’t mean to, she wasn’t thinking at the moment, her mouth just shot out the words on its own.

When Maggie and Alex started dating Finley, the younger woman never said anything about her family. Of course the first one she met, outside of them, was Alex's younger sister. With it being autumn, and thanksgiving, she soon met Eliza and Maggie aunt Vivian. And she saw how Fin was in awe seeing how both women cared for their children. When Alex and Maggie asked her about it, she told them that she had spent most of her life in an orphanage, but refused to say any more. So they agreed they’ll just wait till Finley is ready and tell them on her own. This was 2 years ago, but Finley still hadn’t talked to them about it.

And now Alex fucked up, and told her girlfriend, an orphan, that her parents forgot about her. She isn’t sure how Finley is ever going to forgive her. Hell she doesn’t even know if she can forgive herself. Maggie looks at her, and Alex realises that she failed her too. Sure, the shorter woman tries not to give away her anger, but she sees her eyes, and the Detective is really mad at her.

“I don’t know, she doesn’t really have any friends... Kara? No, that would be too oblivious, she probably doesn't want us to find her now, she wouldn’t go there... You think she would go to any of our friends?” Maggie took a deep breath trying to calm herself enough to think clearly.

“No, I don’t think so. She can’t be that far, she just left. You think she went to a motel?”

“No, she hates spending her money. Doesn’t DEO have sleeping quarters?” Maggie asked.

“Yeah... it does...” Alex begins but her phone rings, she answers it “Danvers... Yes, we'll be coming in now.” She ends the call, and looks at Maggie “There’s an emergency at the DEO, your unit has been informed, J’onn said to bring you along.”

“Shit, alright. You’re good to go?” Maggie looks at her girlfriend, remembering Alex had been drinking earlier.

“I’ll be good, you drive.”

***

Finley walked to the DEO, trying hard to wipe her tears away. She didn’t want others to see her crying, that would be humiliating, but she couldn’t stop it.

Her mind kept repeating Alex’s words, she was not prepared for a woman she loves to hurt her like that. Why would she, she trusted them with her whole heart. Maybe that was her fault, maybe she should have kept that in mind. By now she would know that everyone in her life ended up hurting her.

It was like every time she was happy, it all came crashing down around her. She remembers the day she entered the orphanage for the first time, she was eight. There were so many kids there, just walking around, those kids were sad, but Fin? She was hopeful, she was actually happy that her father wasn’t there to hit her, she felt safe. But that feeling went away so fast, and her life was still a hell.

“Hey.” Fin jumps at J’onn voice. “You got here fast, where are your girlfriends? We have a debrief in five, we have to deal with this emergency quickly.”

Oh, so there is an emergency. That’s why he’s here. She nods and walks to the bathroom cleaning her face. Fin won’t let them all see her tears, she’s stronger than that. She enters the room and J’onn begins. Normally she would stand with her girlfriends but Fin hangs back.

“Cadmus is containing a shipment of hundreds of alien’s. We need to stop them. The NCPD unit is already informed, but it’ll take them a bit longer to arrive, so Detective Sawyer will go with you. Agent Danvers will be leading. Dismissed.” Finley avoids looking at her girlfriends, and walks as fast as she could to the armoury to prepare for the mission.

“Fin" Alex rushes after her.

“No!” Fin growls. “Right now I don’t have time for your bullshit Agent Danvers. We have a mission and that is my focus.” She didn’t mean to snap at Alex like that, but her sorrow was becoming her anger and she can’t be distracted. Distraction means slower reaction time, and that means injury or death. She wasn’t in the mood to die today.

***

The mission was going to plan and Fin kept up her professionalism. But with any mission, things can go wrong. It happened so fast, one second Fin is beating down a Cadmus agent when suddenly an explosion goes off above them. Finley hears the crack of concrete and looks up as a huge block of concrete starts breaking away. Right above Alex. Fin doesn’t think. Her only focus is on saving her girlfriend. Whatever it takes. So she sprints towards the redhead and pushes Alex as hard as she can out of the way. Fin falls to the ground as a huge bang fills the room. Fin tries to gasp when pain surges through her body.

“Fin!” Alex yells as she looks at her pinned girlfriend. She rushes over and is at Fin’s side in a second. “Why did you do that?!” Alex panics and tries to move the concrete to free her girlfriend, but it is too heavy. She looks at Finley, noticing that the concrete didn’t crush her whole. She allows herself to calm slightly. If her sister comes fast enough, it should be okay, Fin has a chance to survive. “Supergirl, come in, I need your help!” But she’s met with silence. “Supergirl! Maggie!?” Alex yells desperately.

“Yeah, what’s wrong?” Maggie responds worriedly.

“I can’t reach Supergirl, we’ve had an accident, Finley is trapped!” She hears Maggie gasp.

“I’m coming!” Maggie yells and Alex focuses on Finley, trying to comfort her. Soon Maggie is by their side. Alex looks up at her scared girlfriend and sees her tears as Maggie tries to suppress a sob.

“Fin. Finley talk to me.” Maggie kneels beside their fallen girlfriend.

“Hurts.” Fin chokes out.

“Alex, we need to move it! It’s crushing her!” They try to push it as hard as they can. “It’s not moving! Supergirl, come in! Please…” Maggie begs but she too is met with silence. “Damn it!” she pushes the block again.

Alex sobs and goes to sit behind her girlfriend, placing Fin’s head in her lap and stroking her short hair gently. She listens to Maggie as she yells trying to reach Kara.

“Why would you do that? Risk your life for me?” Alex looks at Finley’s blue eyes, and gently strokes her cheek.

“I... I’ll always save you...” Finley smiles sadly. She can’t feel her leg anymore and she feels dizzy. She doesn’t regret saving Alex, she would do anything to keep her girlfriends safe. But it’s getting harder to stay awake, and Fin doesn’t have the energy to try anymore. She is tired, so tired, she really hopes they would be okay, even without her. “I love you both… So much…” Finley whispers and her eyes flutter close.

“No. No, don’t close your eyes. Come on, Finley, please. KARA, COME ON!”


	2. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: past abuse, angst, language
> 
> Beware

Alex was sitting on a chair looking at her sleeping girlfriend. Taking Finley’s hand she strokes it gently. She sighs, blinking away her tears.

It’s been two weeks since the mission that ended with Finley getting crushed by a huge piece of concrete.

After Finley passed out, time slowed down and Alex kept begging her sister to hear them. They had more luck than she thought, because finally, finally her sister flew to them. Kara scanned the black-haired woman to see if it would be safe to remove the block off of her. Maggie informed J’onn to prepare a medical team immediately when Kara carefully lifted the block off and became a blur as she lifted Fin into her arms and flew to the DEO.

The redhead just sat there, staring at the spot where Fin had laid moments ago. She stayed there until Maggie hugged her, and she broke down in her arms.

When they made it back to the DEO Maggie and Alex held each other close while they waited for news of Fin’s surgery. More and more of the Superfriends appeared to support them. Hours past until finally a surgeon appeared. Alex all but collapsed onto Maggie’s shoulder when they were told Fin had made it through the gruelling surgery. It was touch and go and her heart stopped a few times, but, they hoped Finley would pull through. They warned the group that they had placed Fin on a ventilator to allow her lungs to heal and rest after being damaged. Causing Finley to be placed in a medically induced coma. The doctors hoped they could remove the ventilator in a few weeks time to allow Finley to breath on her own and wake up.

“Hey.” Maggie says walking into the room, holding two cups of coffee in her hands. She hands one to her girlfriend, and sits on the second chair. Staring at her comatose girlfriend Maggie sighs. “What are the chances that Fin doesn’t wake up later?”

“It’s slim. But when the sedative is reduced… You just never know.” Alex swallows a big gulp of her coffee, rubbing her exhausted eyes. “The scans show her brain activity is normal, so in theory everything will be fine.” But the fear eats away at Alex and she looks at Maggie with tears in her eyes. “I don’t want her to die!” Alex sobs and Maggie takes their cups away. Placing them on the table besides them. She guides the redhead to sit on her lap and gently places her hand on her girlfriends back and hugs her.

“I don’t want her to die either.” Maggie chokes back her own sob, she has to stay strong for Alex, for Finley. “She’ll wake up. She has too.”

Sometime later a doctor knocks on the open door. Worry zooms around the two women as the doctor explains the procedure to disconnect the ventilator to see if Finley can breathe on her own. Stating it’s another step to her healing. Both Alex and Maggie kiss Finley’s head. Not being able to kiss her mouth with the breathing tubes in the way. The pair walk slowly into the hall and Alex looks back at Fin as the door is closed behind them. Maggie holds Alex close as they sit on chairs waiting in the hall for doctors to finish. Soon the redhead falls asleep on Maggie’s shoulder. Maggie gently kisses her head, knowing how tired Alex was. Especially when Alex refused to leave Finley’s side and was always with her.

The truth was, Alex felt guilty. She wanted to apologise for hurting Finley with her words. Instead she had to watch Fin risk her life to save her.

Maggie spent days begging Alex to go home, to sleep, shower, rest for a bit outside of the hospital room. But the redhead was too stubborn. She just wouldn’t leave. Even Kara was unable to get her home.

J’onn had ordered two beds for them to stay there comfortably.

So every day after Maggie’s shift, the Detective went to grab some food and headed straight to the DEO, to spend time with her girlfriends. She talked to them about her day. At night she held Alex close waking every time the redhead had nightmares to calm her down.

Sometimes Maggie would just go home and break down at night in the empty room. It was too much and she felt like she was losing both of her girlfriends. Finley was sedated, and Alex was being eaten away by her guilt.

Maggie looked at Kara who was sitting across from them holding Lena’s hand. Maggie remembers when Kara came while Finley had surgery. Sobbing and hugging both Maggie and Alex, apologising that she was so late to help them. The raven-haired woman calmed her down saying that it wasn’t her fault, after all she was fighting too, and couldn’t just leave. Finley’s door opening snaps Maggie’s head to it.

“We have some good news.” The doctor smiles as they walk out of the room. “Agent Fray is successfully disconnected from the ventilator, she’s breathing on her own now and should wake up soon.” Kara, Lena and Maggie sigh in relief. Maggie looks down at the still sleeping Alex. She gently reaches out and strokes Alex’s cheek.

“Hey, wake up. They are done with Fin, we can go sit by her.” Alex only mumbles so Maggie stands and gets a sleepy Alex to her feet. Kara comes over and helps her lead the redhead to the other bed in Finley’s room. They lay Alex in the bed, taking her boots off and tucking her in. Kara kisses Alex’s head before giving Maggie a hug and leaving the room. Lena waves from the door and soon Maggie is left alone. She walks over and sits in the chair Alex normally uses. She grabs Finley's hand and kisses her knuckles.

“Hi baby...” Maggie sighs sadly. “You can wake up now... Please wake up.” Maggie looks over her girlfriend. She’s pleased the breathing tube is gone and the rhythm of the ventilator silenced. “We miss you so much. Alex practically lives here, she hasn’t been home since you came in. It’s good J’onn allowed her to take extended leave, because she wouldn’t be able to do anything. I can’t be here as long as I want to, you know how tough my supervisor is, they won’t let me leave for that long. But I also need to stay busy. To not go crazy.” She laughs lightly. “You know it’s Christmas in a month, and Eliza and my aunt will come to celebrate. Kara said Eliza asks about you a lot, she promised to make your favourite chocolate cake when she comes, you really don’t want to miss it.” Maggie smiles sadly and looks at Finley sleeping face. “I don’t want to spend Holidays without you...” Her voice breaks and she sobs. “I really need you to wake up Finley...” Maggie looks at her girlfriend waiting for some kind of response, some miracle but of course nothing happens. She stands up and goes to lay beside Alex. The redhead snuggles into her right away and the raven-haired woman kisses her forehead.

“Goodnight my loves.” Maggie whispers and soon she falls asleep too.

**

Alex looks at her sleeping girlfriend, it’s been a week since they disconnected Finley from the ventilator. She should have woken up long ago. The doctors said they can’t do anything, and the redhead knows that. So they wait patiently for their girlfriend to wake up.

And they wait.

A week suddenly becomes two, and Alex can’t think clearly anymore. She’s so stressed and she’s going crazy. Every little thing sets her off.

“Alright Alex, that's enough. You’ve been staying here for four weeks now, it’s time to get out and start living again.” Maggie stated as she came into the room looking at her girlfriend.

“What do you mean to start living again, I’m living! I can’t go, she might wake up soon, and when she wakes up she can’t be alone!” Alex protests looking at Maggie with disbelief. “I can’t just leave.”

“If she wakes up. Are you planning to stay here forever?”

“What the fuck are you talking about! Of course she’ll wake up!” The redhead yells at her girlfriend. Maggie massages her forehead.

“Alex I’m tired. I’m so fucking tired. Finley has been out for four weeks. You’re staying here the whole time and I just have to go on and pretend that everything is fine! A month ago I had two girlfriends and now one of them is in a coma and the other one is a zombie! You just sit here every day waiting for a miracle, and I have to go to work, take care of our home, take care of you, because you’re so busy doing nothing that you forget to take care of yourself!” Maggie pointed at their sleeping girlfriend. “Look at her, do you think she would want that?! For you to waste your life on watching her sleep?!” the raven-haired woman looks at the redhead head with tears in her eyes. “I want her to wake up too, we’re falling apart without her…” Maggie sobs and covers her face with her hands. Alex looks at her girlfriend in shock, she was so busy with Finley and her own pity that she failed to notice that Maggie was also hurt. She steps closer and embraces her in a hug.

“I’m sorry…” The redhead sobs. “I’m sorry!” She slowly sits on the bed and leads Maggie to sit on her lap putting her hands around the smaller woman. ”I’m sorry...” She whispers gently stroking her hair. “I’ll go home with you today.”

“No, today we’re staying here. Tomorrow. Tomorrow you will go with me. Promise me.” Maggie whispers.

“I promise. Will we still come here?” Alex looks at her girlfriend.

“Of course we will! I wouldn’t leave her alone. I miss her too." Maggie sighs.

“It’s my fault...” Alex says quietly. “If I was paying more attention... If I hadn’t said those awful things to her, we would have worked together...”

“You can’t say things like that. Finley made her decision, and I know if you were in her place, you would do just the same. And me too.” They stay like that for a few more minutes when there’s a knock on the door.

“Come in." The redhead wipes her tears and looks at Kara and Brainy as they come into the room.

“Hey.” Kara greets the two women and looks at Finley as she comes closer.

“Still nothing?” She sighs sadly. Over three years of Finley joining the DEO they had become good friends. It was Fin who encouraged Kara to come out as Supergirl to Lena, and this turned out better than the blonde had expected. Now 2 years later she and the CEO were engaged and on their way to live happily ever after. Kara hopes Fin will wake up soon so she, Maggie and Alex can have their happy ending too.

“Greetings my friends.” Brainy begins. “I have a way to help Agent Fray wake up.” Three pairs of eyes gawk at him.

“How!?” Maggie gasps. “Well the main problem here is that she is trapped deep in her dreams. I think we could send one of you to help her wake up. I would prepare machines to watch you while you will be in Finley’s mind.”

“Can we both go?” Alex asks, looking at him.

“No, I can send only one person. It could be too much for her and there is 97.1464 percent possibility she wouldn’t survive it.” Brainy calculates.

“I’ll go!” Alex says fast. “It has to be me. I owe her that much.”

“Babe...” Maggie looks at her with a stern look.

“Mags please... Let me do this.” The redhead begs her girlfriend. “What’s the chance of her waking up?” She looks at her friend.

“It’s fifty-fifty. But it’s more than she has now.” He said and Alex looks at Maggie waiting for her approval.

“Okay. But if something goes wrong, we’ll pull you out immediately.” The raven-haired woman sighs. She doesn’t like that idea. Sure, she wants Fin to wake up. But now she has to risk Alex too. She can just pray to whatever God there is that her girlfriends will be both alive and awake after that.

**

Alex takes a deep breath. She had been connected to a heart monitor to watch her in case something goes wrong. She holds Maggie's hand as she lays on the bed.

“If anything happens we put you back immediately.” Maggie kisses the redhead’s forehead.

“I’ll get her back.” Alex smiles at her girlfriend. “I’m ready" she closes her eyes and when she opens them again, she isn’t in the DEO anymore.

The redhead looks around as she takes in her surroundings. She was in a small crappy living room. It smells like alcohol and filth. There was an old couch in the middle, old square TV, and a lot of beer bottles. In the corner of the room was a kids table, with sheets of paper and crayons everywhere on the table and on the floor. There was a man standing there. He was bald, fat and had an awful moustache on his face. He looks at the table with an angry look on his face.

“FINLEY!” He yells “Get your bitch ass here right now, or I’m going to kill you!” Alex flinches at his hard tone.

Suddenly she feels anger, how dare he talk to her girlfriend like that!? She wants to punch him right in his ugly face, but she found out that she couldn’t move. She was bound to watch it and couldn’t do anything about it.

Soon a small girl, no older than 5 years old, runs into the room, looking scared at the man.

“Yes sir?” Her voice trembles, and she takes a defensive stance.

“What the fuck is this mess!? Who allowed you to draw!? What the fuck do you think!” He grabs the kid Finley by her hair and drags her to the mess.

“I’m sorry!” She sobs.

“Let her go, you fucker!” Alex yells, but of course he doesn’t hear her. She was so angry but couldn’t do anything!

“You think sorry is going to solve it!? You're a useless piece of shit! I take care of you, I feed you, I let you go to school and this is how you repay me?!” He pushes her to the ground hard and the girl cries out.

Alex couldn’t breathe, she just stood there watching as he took off his belt and hit the kid Finley. How the girl cries and begs him to stop, until there were no cries anymore.

Alex closed her eyes, she couldn’t look at it anymore. Her heart breaks, and she cries hard.

What was this nightmare!?

When she opens her eyes again, she is outside a house. She sees a police car on the driveway. Two policemen appear in the doorway and lead the bald man, Finley’s father, in handcuffs out of the house. She sees Finley, a bit older now, standing with a medic, she has blood on her face and she is crying.

Alex grimaces, but feels sudden relief. The girl was safe now. She watches as they took Finley away in an ambulance, and her father in a police car.

The redhead blinks, and as she opens her eyes she realises that she’s someplace else. She looks around and sees a bunch of kids walking around. Those kids weren’t happy as they are supposed to be.

‘Orphanage’ she thinks and spots Finley by the door. Her face was clean and she was smiling. She looks so hopeful. ‘How can she look so happy when she’s entering this awful place?’

Alex frowns but she follows them around. They’ve led Finley to a room with a lot of beds, and shows her a bed that would belong to her. Then they left her. Alex watches as Fin tries to talk to the other kids, but one of the older boys pushes her on the ground.

“Hey look! A newbie! You really think you can make friends here, dumbass?!” He laughs and kicks Fin in the back. “You fight here to survive, but it seems you won’t last that long!”

The redhead feels her panic rise. He’s going to hurt Fin. She wants to move and stop him, but again finds out that she can’t do anything.

She’s forced to close her eyes again, and she growls in frustration. She wants it to end, to find Finley and bring her back. It feels like she’s stuck in a never ending nightmare.

“Hey look, it’s our orphan!” Alex hears a boy yell, and she quickly opens her eyes. She was now in a school. Right in front of her she saw Finley get shoved into a locker. Three kids stood above Fin as they took her tattered backpack from her. They flipped it open, throwing all of her stuff on the floor. They took some of her books and ran off.

Suddenly the redhead is on a bridge and she sees her girlfriend, now as an adult, sitting on the railing. The black-haired woman is crying and looking down. She’s about to jump. Alex yells and wants to run to her, hold her and take her away. But a man appears behind Finley and holds her back.

Alex gasps when she sees that the man is J’onn. They are talking and Finley cries. He says something to her and looks at Alex, then he disappears.

“Alex?” Finley looks at her and starts slowly walking towards the redhead. “What are you doing here?”

“Finnie.” Alex sighs, relieved she’s finally able to move. She starts to run to the black-haired woman.

“No wait!” Fin yells, stopping the redhead. Alex looks at her surprised. Fin points at the bridge that started to fall apart. “Don’t run. It’s breaking.”

“Come home, Fin, we’re waiting for you.” Alex sobs. “Please” Finley nods and starts to slowly walk towards Alex again.

“I’m coming to you.” Finley focuses on walking carefully and trying not to break the bridge more. Alex holds her breath as she watches Finley manoeuvring towards her. Just as Finley gets within reach of Alex a huge crack appears in the bridge.

“Alex!” Fin yells as the bridge shatters and she starts falling.

Alex tries to reach for her, but suddenly she’s on her bed again.

“No! Put me back! Put me back, I need to save her!” A pair of strong arms holds her down, and she breaks down crying. “Maggie I need to save her, put me back in!”

“Shhh.” Maggie tries to soothe her. Alex’s yelling is interrupted by Fin’s heart monitor ringing out a continuous note.


	3. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: smut(ish) just a little, some angst, laguage, mentions of abuse

Maggie sits on a chair holding her trembling girlfriend. She tries to calm Alex down from her panic attack for over an hour.

After Alex was brought back from Finley’s mind, Finley's heart stopped beating. The doctors reacted quickly, but Brainy had to help Maggie get the yelling and struggling redhead out of the room. They sat outside and waited for doctors to tell them Fin’s status.

Alex wasn’t yelling anymore, but she was crying saying frantically that Fin can’t die.

Maggie has never seen the redhead like that. She wonders what Alex saw in Finley’s mind that shook her up this much. But she doesn’t think it will be a good idea to ask her now. She made a mental note to do it later.

After some time Alex calms down enough to look at her girlfriend.

“Will she be okay?” she asks her raven-haired girlfriend.

“She’s strong." Maggie whispers. Trying to encourage them both. But she doesn’t know how Fin is doing and the wait is killing her too. The doctors were still in the room and all they could do was wait. She gently strokes the redhead on the back and closes her eyes. This is bad. She just wishes Finley would be better.

“Hey." They both jumped hearing J’onn voice from the other side of the hallway. They look at him and greet him. “I heard what happened. And I’m really sorry I don’t have any better news. But I need you two badly. Supergirl went on an emergency mission three hours ago, but she’s gone silent. I need a team of the best to go with me.”

“We’ll go.” Alex said standing up from her girlfriend.

“You sure?” Maggie asks hesitantly, looking at the closed door of Finley’s room before looking back up at Alex.

“Yeah, it’s my sister. I need to save her.”

**

The mission was so long and exhausting, but they managed to save Kara and defeat the threat. As they went back to Finley’s room, they saw that there were no doctors in there. That means either good news or really bad news.

And Alex is terrified.

“I...” she looks at Maggie. “I don’t know what to expect. Maybe we should ask for a doctor to tell us how she is…” Alex backs away from the door. Her eyes widened in fear. “I’m scared.” She sobs and her girlfriend hugs her.

“You want me to get a doctor?”

“No, I want to see Fin alive.” The redhead takes a deep breath and opens the door. They walk in and see their girlfriend on the bed, breathing softly and Alex almost cries out in relief. A heart monitor was attached to her and her heart was beating normally.

“She’s alive.” Maggie whispers, and Alex comes closer gently grabbing their girlfriend's hand. She gasps in shock when she feels the black-haired woman squeeze it lightly.

“She’s awake!” The redhead almost yells, feeling the tears of relief falling. “Oh my God, baby, are you okay?!” Maggie comes closer and gently cups the lying woman's cheek.

“Better now...” Fin rasps.

“Oh God, I’m going to get a doctor!” Maggie rushes to the door but Fin's voice stops her.

“No... they already checked me.” Finley says quietly. It looks like she had a hard time talking. Maggie walks back to her side, trying to wipe away her tears, but they wouldn’t stop coming.

“Baby.” The raven-haired woman sobs and grabs gently her other hand. This one had an IV hooked up, and Maggie gently runs her thumb over Fin’s knuckles. “We missed you so much.”

Alex looks at Finley with a huge smile on her face and wipes her own tears. It’s going to be better now. She is sure of that.

**

One week later all of them were sitting in Finley’s room. Maggie, Alex, all of the Superfriends and even Eliza. They were enthusiastically talking about the upcoming Christmas. Finley could leave for the holidays, but she needed to take it very easy. Her broken ribs began healing, her legs were in plaster and she still had to be on strong medication. She was told that it will take a lot of time to completely heal, and a bit more time to get back to work. Fin didn’t mind even if she was in pain, she was just happy to be alive.

Finley looks at Kara and Alex who were talking to Eliza about some exciting mission they were on. Maggie told her how Alex spent all her time with Fin as the shorter woman was in the coma. But now that the redhead was back in the field, she looks way happier. Of course when there was no mission, she was with Finley.

They still needed to talk, but she forgave Alex long ago. No need to stay mad as she clearly saw that the redhead felt guilty.

“You okay?” Maggie asks. She was sitting on a chair next to Fin’s bed. The Detective looks at her with so much love that the black-haired woman forgot how to breathe. She smiles at her girlfriend and leans to kiss her cheek.

“Yeah, I’m good. I just love watching them.” She nods her head at the Danvers family.

“Oh, yeah. They’re cute. Eliza asked about you a lot while you were out. I think you’re her favourite.” Finley laughs and three pairs of eyes look at her. They smile and walk over to the bed. Eliza opens her arms and hugs Fin.

“I’m glad you’re awake.” The older woman says as she pulls away. Her smile is bright and full of warmth.

“Yes, it’s pretty awesome to be alive.” Finley chuckles and yawns.

“All this must have made you tired.” Alex said, stroking her girlfriend's cheek.

“Yeah, a bit.” “Have a nap babe. We’ll be here when you wake up.” Maggie kisses Fin gently on the lips and so does Alex.

Fin smiles and closes her eyes. She hears the door closing and soon she is fast asleep.

**

Maggie was super mad. She had gone to her supervisor’s office, wanting to take two weeks off because of Finley finally leaving the DEO and Christmas.

But her boss didn’t want to hear about that. He refused her vacation yet again. And Maggie had enough. She remembers how she had to come into work every day even when Fin was in a coma. While Alex was excused by J’onn. She couldn’t be there with her girlfriends and Maggie was done. She signed her resignation papers, and gave it to her no former supervisor. Telling him he can shove it up his ass because she is leaving.

**

Finley laughs at a joke Kara told her. Her girlfriend's sister offered to help them get Fin home as Maggie had to work. Alex refused telling that she can handle it herself, but Finley knew that with her in a wheelchair it would be too much for Alex. That’s why she gladly accepted Kara’s help.

The black-haired woman watches her girlfriend packing her things. Lena’s driver was waiting outside the DEO for them in her car. Kara helps Finley sit in her wheelchair.

“You're still in pain.” Blonde looked at her with pity in her eyes.

“Yea, a bit. But I’m really better than I was two weeks ago, so I’m not complaining.” Finley smiles at her friend. “And I can get out of bed, even if I’m rolling on this stupid thing" She frowns. “But I’ll be better in no time, so I’m just biding my time.”

“There’s going to be a lot of work Fin.” Alex warns as she looks over at her. “You’re going to have to learn to walk with a cane and braces on your leg. You’re not just going to miraculously walk one day.”

“Party pooper.” Fin snorts. “Now get me outside, one more minute in here and I’m going to puke.

They went outside and Finley took a deep breath. It was good to go out.

“Sooo nice here! Though I wish there would be snow on Christmas. You know, a bit of white powder wouldn’t be bad for anyone.” She chuckles and looks at Alex who rolls her eyes. “Oh come on, you missed my awful jokes, admit it.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the part I missed.” The redhead sticks out her tongue.

They go to the car and Kara helps Fin get in while her girlfriend puts the bags and wheelchair in the back.

The road was too long for Finley, she just wanted to be home already. After half an hour they were entering the house. To their surprise, Maggie greets them.

“Hey Mags.” Fin smiles, as her girlfriend walks over and hugs her. “Not that I’m bragging, but weren’t you supposed to be at work?” Alex looks equally surprised at the raven-haired woman.

“Yeah, I, well... You know they wouldn’t give me vacation... so I kind of... had enough.” She scratches her head. “Well, I dropped off my resignation. I want to spend more time with you, and I want to be with you, not constantly at work.” Finley frowns.

“You resigned from your dream job... because of me?” She drops her head, feeling guilt fill her.

“No, no! Look at me.” Maggie kneels in front of her and takes her face to force Fin to look in her eyes. “I did not resign because of you. I was really tired. When you went to the DEO, I couldn’t take any days off. Then they had to put you off the ventilator, I couldn’t stay to look after you two. I had to go to work the next day. Yesterday I went to ask him for 2 weeks, because of Christmas, and he refused! Again! And I was done, so I wrote my resignation letter. But I needed to calm down a bit, and think of it more. But then I went to see you in the DEO, and when I told you that I couldn’t be there, you were both so sad, that I decided that my work wasn’t worth it. And yeah, I dreamed of being a Detective, but I also dreamed of having my own family, and I will always put you first.” Maggie gently wipes her girlfriend tears and Alex kneels down to hug them both. It was awkward, with Finley on the wheelchair, but it was full of love. And Fin wonders how she got so lucky, having two such amazing girlfriends.

**

Finley puts on her black shirt with snowflakes and her blue tie. It matches her eyes, and she knows her girlfriends like it on her. She waits patiently for them to help her put on pants. She has to wear sweat pants because of the casts on her legs, but at least they were black, so it wasn’t that bad.

They were going to Lena’s penthouse for Christmas Eve. Eliza decided to stay there because of how big her apartment was. The original plan was to go somewhere nice, all of them, instead of getting each other presents, but they had to change the date because of the accident. So ultimately all of them agreed that once Finley will be able to walk, they all go to Finland.

The black-haired woman was really excited for that trip. She just needed to heal quickly.

Alex came into the room and smiled. She was dressed in black pants, white shirt and a red tie that matched her hair.

“You look nice.” Fin smiled as Alex sits next to her. The shorter woman leans over and kisses her girlfriend. The redhead sighs happily and deepens the kiss.

“You don’t look bad yourself.” She says as she pulls back, needing air from the heated kiss. “I like your tie, it matches your eyes.” Fin giggles and takes her girlfriend's hand.

“Only ‘not bad’?”

“Well these clothes are nice but you would look better without them. Lying on the bed. Whining and moaning.” She puts her hand on Finley's thigh and squeezes. The black-haired woman chokes on air.

“Very smooth agent Danvers. You’re such a pervert.”

“Am not!”

“Yeah, she is.” Maggie said as she enters the room. The raven-haired woman decided on wearing a red, black and white flannel shirt and tight black pants.

“Damn it Sawyer, why do you have to look like that!?” Alex rushed to kiss her and Fin had to close her eyes suddenly feeling hot. They don’t have time for that. They need to go out. She heard Maggie moaning and took a deep breath.

“Alex if you could just keep your hands to yourself, we really need to leave in thirty, and you’re a horny little shit today.” She feels Maggie’s lips on her and is pushed back on the bed. Her girlfriend sits on her hips and stuck her tongue in Finley’s mouth. Fin’s hands go to Maggie's thighs, as the woman on top of her moves her hips. “We really need to go.” Fin moans.

“And yet they’re saying that I’m a horny little shit.” The redhead chuckles and Finley opens her eyes looking right into the brown ones of Maggie. They were full of love and adoration.

“Hi.” Her girlfriend takes a shaky breath and tries to calm herself. Well the truth is it was a while ago that they had some fun, with Fin being in coma and recovering, and with her still in pain it was not the best plan to have sex.

“Hi" Finley trembles, feeling her own need burning. “While I love being under you, we don’t have that much time left. And I still need to put the rest of my clothes on. But maybe we can continue this later.” She kisses Maggie on the nose, and her girlfriend slowly stands up from her.

“Maybe...” She kisses Alex on her cheek and grabs her girlfriends pants from the closet. “Let's get you dressed.”

**

Of course they were too late. All because of Alex who pouted that she didn’t get enough kisses. So they ended up making out for half an hour, Alex’s ringing phone stopped them from tearing each other’s clothes off. Eliza was calling to make sure they’ll arrive soon.

“I can’t believe your mom cockblocked us from the other side of the city.” Maggie laughs while wheeling Finley through the parking lot to Lena’s penthouse.

“We’ll I’m kind of glad she did, cause we wouldn’t have left the apartment.” Fin laughs looking at her red-haired girlfriend.

“Ohhhh, do I need to remind you who took my shirt off?” Alex teases.

“Hey, don’t mind me, I just like boobies.” The black-haired woman sticks her tongue out. “I don’t remind you of how you almost came rubbing yourself on my leg.” The redhead takes a shaky breath remembering the feeling, how she was so close when her phone rang. “Though that was pretty hot.”

“Alright, both of you need to stop.” Maggie presses the button to call the elevator. “We are almost there and you keep talking about sex.

“Well... Alex was almost there too.” Finley laughs and the redhead slaps her shoulder.

“I will get my revenge.”

“I’m counting on it.” Finley winks.

“I will cuff both of you if you don’t stop right now.” Both her girlfriends look at her with red cheeks and Maggie face palms realising her mistake. “Not in a sexy way! Just stop already, we’re here.” The elevator doors open and Maggie quickly goes to Lena’s door and knocks. Kara opens it with a bright smile.

“Hey!” She hugs each of them. “You’re late, what happened?” Alex’s face goes as red as her hair, she tries to say something, but she couldn’t come up with anything, so Maggie decides to come to her rescue.

“Hi! My favourite blonde! It’s cold, so our car didn’t want to start. But! We’re here! Merry Christmas!” Finley laughs and she wheels herself in to greet everyone.

She was thankful that Lena and Kara moved some furniture in their apartment to allow Fin to move smoothly wherever she wanted.

“Hey Mags. You said your Aunt is going to be there tomorrow?” Kara asks.

“Yeah, she said all flights were sold out. I have to pick her up from the airport tomorrow morning. She was sorry, next year she’ll think of it earlier.” Maggie laughs while shaking her head. She was a bit sad her aunt couldn’t make it, but she will get there eventually, so there’s no reason to stay upset.

“This is awesome Eliza!” Finley moans as she was finally eating her chocolate cake. Lena and Kara went to a balcony to have some alone time while Maggie and Alex were on washing up duty in the kitchen. “I wish I had a Mom like you" she whispers sadly.

“Oh sweetie.” Eliza comes and hugs her. “I’ll be your mom.” Finley tries hard not to cry from the emotions that are overwhelming her. It was amazing to have such a wonderful family.

**

Later that night Fin was back in her apartment sitting on the couch squeezed between her girlfriends. Her head was on Alex’s shoulder while her legs were in Maggie’s lap. It was their favourite position since Finley came back. It wasn’t bothering the woman’s bruises and allowed them to feel her close enough. Her girlfriends were scared that Finley would somehow disappear. The black-haired woman didn’t mind. Whatever helped them feel better.

“Your mom’s really nice.” Fin mutters to Alex.

“Huh… I guess she is now. Since she stopped blaming everything Kara did on me, we do get along very well. Now I have to share her with you all.” The redhead fake pouts.

“It is what it is.” Maggie laughs playfully slapping Alex’s shoulder. “I still think Fin’s her favourite. I saw them cuddling while we were working hard in the kitchen.” She looks at the younger woman.

“Oh, you know, I just told her that I wished I had a mom like her. My mother died when I was five and I don’t really remember her.” Fin frowns.

“Is that why your father abused you?” Alex asks and they both looked at her in shock. “What?” Finley stammers and gets up swaying a bit. “H-How do you know that?” The redhead looks at her with disbelief.

“I was in your mind? While you were in your coma. I mean you were there too… Don’t you remember? I saw your memories. How you father used to-”

“STOP!” Fin yells. “What the fuck Alex, why did you enter my mind like that?! Those are my memories, you weren’t supposed to see them! Whose fucking idea was that?!”

“Well it was our only chance to help you wake up!” Alex begins yelling too, and Maggie stands between them.

“Fin, please, Alex is right, Brainy calculated that you’ll have more chances of waking up if someone went to your mind and helped you.” The shorter woman tries calming her girlfriends down.

“Oh, nice, so you agree that it’s pretty normal to go to someone’s mind and steal their memories?! That’s just fucking amazing, you two should be proud of yourself!” She turns around and heads to their bedroom limping.

“Fuck.” Maggie whispers looking at Alex. “What do we do now?”


	4. Part IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: some past abuse, mention of suicide, smut(ish) just a little, laguage

Finley sat on their bed looking at the door. She was mad at her girlfriends. She didn’t want them to know, not like that, she was not ready yet. Her past was fucked up, and she has spent previous years trying to forget about it. No need to touch these memories when she was doing okay now.

But now Alex knows and Maggie too.

God knows what Alex saw in her head. She felt so exposed. She knows she has to tell them at some point, that she can’t run from it forever. Especially while her girlfriends told her about their past.

How Maggie’s father threw her out and she had to live with her aunt. How she tried to make it work between them, but he just couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that his daughter was gay.

How Alex’s father passed away, or at least that was what they were told, then two years ago he came back, turned out that he was a traitor working for Cadmus. It had happened early in their relationship. Alex was officially dating Maggie at the time, and they weren’t out as polyamorous yet.

The redhead was devastated and they both held her close while she cried.

“Finley can we please talk?” There was a knock on the door and Maggie opened it. “Please, we need to talk this through.” She came to sit beside Fin, and Alex followed her, sitting on the other side of her girlfriend.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone into your head like that.” Alex begins. “But hear me out. After they disconnected you from the ventilator, you were technically supposed to wake up. But then the days went by, and you were still asleep. We were starting to become hopeless. And one day Brainy comes in and says that you’re deep in your dreams, and he can help us wake you up. The only way for that was to go to your mind. And once I was in your mind, I had zero control, your memories were just flowing by. Until I found you, and tried to wake you up. But that somehow ended bad and we almost lost you... Again.” Alex looked at Maggie, they both had tears in their eyes.

“We can’t lose you...” Finley hugged her crying girlfriends and sighed.

They were right. If she ever was in this situation, she would do exactly the same. Finley feels bad now. She yelled at them, but they were just taking the chance to wake her up.

“I’m sorry I yelled. I just wished you didn’t have to see that. And it’s not like I didn’t want to tell you. It’s more like, I don’t want to think about it that much.”

“You can still tell us...” Maggie whispered. “Alex refused to tell me anything after she was taken out of your mind. She had a huge panic attack, it took me an hour to calm her down. But she just said that she wants you to tell us. Whenever you’re ready.” Her girlfriend kissed her cheek. “I hate how I’m the only one missing this.”

“All right.” Finley sighed. “I’ll keep it short though, if you don’t mind, I really don’t like getting into the details. When my mom died, my father began drinking. He became more and more aggressive, he used to yell at me a lot, and always ended up beating me. One day, after he hit me, police knocked on our door. They took me to the orphanage. And I was actually happy, I thought it’s going to be better now. But orphanage wasn’t fun. Everyone kept to themselves, trying to survive as the workers there didn’t give a shit about us, we just often walked around hungry and dirty. Because of that, school was also hard, dealing with bullies that claimed to be better cause they had parents. But the years just flew by, and when I became eighteen they kicked me out. I was homeless for a while, but finally I was allowed into University, and they gave me a place to live and offered a job. It was really a miracle, I applied there with the last money I had, and just passed their exam with 100%. But it was hard. I had to pay for my room and all the bills, work and go to classes every day. Sometimes I didn’t have enough money to eat and that’s why I just often forget to do that. What makes you mad is something that made me survive for so long.” Finley stopped for a second, wiped her tears, she was tearing up, she needed to speed this up, otherwise she won’t finish. “And just, you know, I finished college, but then couldn’t find any work, it was hard to find something considering my past. And one time I just wanted to end it all. But then out of nowhere J’onn appeared, offered me a chance so I took it. Yeah, so the rest you already know.” She sobs as her girlfriends hold her close.

It was hard telling them about her past. But she’s glad she did. Cause now she feels as if some weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

She feels safe. And that’s what she dreamed about her whole life.

**

Alex wakes up to knocking on their door. She sleepily looks around seeing her girlfriends still asleep so she went to open the door.

“Mom! Hi.” She frowns, she forgot her mother was coming for breakfast. “Shit, we overslept.” The redhead yawns and leads her mom to their apartment.

“And Merry Christmas to you.” Eliza chuckles but then looks at her daughter. “Alex, are you okay sweetie? Is everything alright? You look like you’ve been crying all night. Is Finley okay?” Alex sobs and goes to hug her mother.

Maybe they didn’t have the best relationship in the past, but hearing everything from Fin made her really appreciate her mother.

“Oh, okay.” Eliza hugs her daughter in surprise. “Honey talk to me, I’m worried.”

“Finley’s all right. Physically. We’re good. I’m just happy I have you. Love you mom.” The older woman smiles at her daughter.

“Love you too sweetie. What brought this?”

“I just... We talked yesterday about Finley’s time at the orphanage. And I am just really grateful I had you. Even after dad disappeared, you still took care of Kara and I. And Finley told us how her father became violent after her mom died. Just I’m glad you didn’t.” The redhead wipes her tears and looks at her mom.

“Oh sweetie, I would never hurt you.” Eliza gently grabs her cheek and wipes her tears away. She kisses the redhead forehead. “Go wake your sleepyheads up. I’ll make breakfast.”

“Thank you mom.” Alex beams and goes to wake her girlfriends up. She gently lay beside Fin and placed small kisses on her face until she opened her eyes.

“Merry Christmas baby.” She smiles as Finley sleepily greets her back. She looks into her girlfriend's blue eyes and kisses her softly. The younger woman smiles into the kiss and embraces Alex in a hug.

Maggie turns around and hugs them too. She looks at her girlfriends with a huge grin.

“Merry Christmas baby.” The redhead smiles at her and reaches over Finley to kiss her.

“Your boob’s on my face.” Fin laughs.

“I fail to see a problem with that.” The raven-haired woman remarks.

“Well... It’s still clothed.”

“Dorks, stop. Mom’s here. We overslept.” Alex stands up. “I’m going to shower.”

“Can I...” Maggie began, only to be interrupted.

“No. We all know how that ends.” The raven-haired woman pouts. Finley laughs and kisses her as the redhead leaves the room.

**

Later that day Finley was sitting on the couch with Alex. Maggie was out to get her Aunt from the airport, and Eliza decided to take a nap in the guest room. They didn’t mind and decided to watch some TV.

Finley thought about how she met her girlfriends.

After J’onn offered her a job she gladly took it. He told her he’ll pick her up next Monday, to show her around and begin training her. What surprised her, and she soon learned that it also was a shock for all her new co-workers, the man decided to train her himself. As her apartment was being sold, she was offered a room in the DEO. Each day she arrived punctually for her training. They trained all day which Fin loved. It gave Fin no time to think about her life, being so exhausted from it all. About a week after arriving, she met Alex. Fin thought Alex was the most beautiful human being she ever met.

Sadly Fin soon learned that the agent was taken. That was until she had the chance to meet her girlfriend, Maggie. Finley then decided Alex and Maggie were both the most beautiful women ever. It was a shock, she didn’t ever have time to think about any relationship in her life, she was simply too busy to. And now not only had she had a crush on a woman, but on two. It took her a lot of time and research to figure it out.

Nevertheless the fact that she had a crush on these two women, Finley never thought that they could like her.

That was until one day they approached her and asked her out for dinner. One became two, and after the third date, they talked about their relationship. It took them a bit of time to come out to their friends and family but Finley was patient. It took her a long time to figure this out, so she gave them their time too. It was adventurous, sneaking around to give each other kisses. She felt like a teenager being in love for the first time.

“You okay? You zoned out.” The redhead asks, looking at her. The shorter woman smiles and guided the redhead to sit on her lap. She would rather sit on Alex’s, but her plaster was making that impossible.

“I’m okay. I was just thinking about how it all began. The day you asked me on a date.” She smiles and kisses the redhead. Her girlfriend kisses her back and Finley slips her tongue in Alex’s mouth. The woman on her moans quietly.

“Hi... Oh Rao, I’m sorry.” They part and look at Kara and Lena as they stand in the doorway. “T...the door was unlocked!” The superhero cheeks were as red as he cape.

Finley begins laughing and all three of them look at her surprised.

“I just remembered the first time this happened.”

_Alex, Maggie and Finley had been sitting on the couch watching ‘Avengers’. They were enjoying their free evening as they weren’t out as polyamorous yet, so that excluded any attention outside their apartment._

_Finley was sitting between them, her head on the raven-haired woman lap, and her legs tangled with redheads. Her girlfriends learned pretty soon that the youngest woman was touch deprived._

_They didn’t mind that seeing how even small touches of Finley’s hand made her smile like the happiest being on earth. They made sure to give her a lot of cuddles. Maggie bended her head to give her black-haired woman a kiss._

_“I’m going to grab us some drinks. You mind moving?” Finley pouted and gently bit her girlfriend's lip. The raven-haired woman gasped._

_“Fin...” she looked at her with a playful smirk._

_“Whatcha gonna do bout it?”_

_“I’m just...” Maggie smiled and lifted her girlfriend up, making her sit in Alex’s lap. “Here. Stay there.” She winked at Alex as the red head embraced Finley in a strong hug._

_Fin took her chance and decided to kiss the redhead. Her girlfriend was very enthusiastic about it. Alex slipped her tongue in Finley’s mouth and placed her hands on her hips and guided her to move back and forth._

_Finley broke the kiss and moaned suddenly feeling hot. Her red-haired girlfriend took off her shirt and tossed it in the corner. She kissed Fin’s neck, sucking it hard._

_“Alex...! Oh RAO, I’M SO SORRY!” They heard Kara yell and jumped from each other. They were breathing hard, looking at the blonde who had her eyes covered. “Wait a second...” She looked at them in shock. “Alex! That ain’t Maggie!!” Kara yelled._

_“Hi, little Danvers!” Maggie came with their drinks and looked at the scene before her._

_Finley was standing there with only her bra on and Alex was standing next to her. Both her girlfriends looked uncomfortable, their cheeks were red, and they were breathing hard. Well they had been busy. Then there was Kara. Standing there looking at them and then at Maggie, she was confused and flustered._

_“Maggie! They were kissing.” “Yeah, I know that.” The Detective laughed. “What’s the problem?”_

_“Kara it is not what it looks like" Alex rushed to grab a sheet and covered Finley with it. “I didn’t cheat on Maggie, we’re in a polyamorous relationship!”_

_“Oh...” The blonde became more confused, but nodded her head. “Alright I’m going to go...” She flew away and Maggie laughed hard._

_“Oh God...” Alex whined._

“She flew to me after that and asked what’s a polyamorous relationship. I almost had a heart attack. It was as if a toddler came up to me and asked how kids are made.” Lena laughs looking at her fiancé, who turns her head away embarrassed.

“How was I supposed to know that! I thought Alex was cheating on Maggie.” She stutters.

“Don’t worry little Danvers. We weren’t doing anything nasty this time. Just kissing. I’m sure you can handle that.” Finley laughs.

Alex stands up from her girlfriend and looks at her sister in disbelief.

“I would never cheat on Maggie. Or Fin. But I understand your confusion. We should’ve talked with you about it sooner.” She admits. “I would say that I’ll make sure of it next time, but there wouldn’t be one. Staying with these two forever.”

**

After the Christmas dinner, Alex, Maggie, Kara and Lena decided to go for a walk. They wanted to take Finley along, but she said that wheeling around is not a walk, so she’s going to pass and help Eliza in the kitchen. Vivian went to unpack her things in the guest room. After that they sat by the dinner table, Eliza made them coffee and Finley put the sweets on the table.

“Can I ask you both something?” Fin begins looking hesitantly at both women. She specifically chose to sit against them to be able to see both their reactions.

“Of course darling.” Vivian smiles at her. Even though she was Maggie’s aunt, they both looked very alike. Both had brown hairs and brown eyes. They even had the same dimpled smile.

Finley looked at Eliza and the older woman nodded her head encouraging her to continue.

“Well before the accident I was planning something... And I know it isn’t possible yet, and we don’t even know if it’ll ever be, but I just wanted to, and I…” Finley spoke really fast, she was stressed.

‘This was a stupid idea. What if they laugh. What if they say no?!’

“Take a deep breath sweetie.” Eliza gently squeezes her hand, making her calm down. “Tell us slowly what’s going on.” Finley took a deep breath.

‘It’s now or never.’

“I love your daughters very much. I want to propose to them soon. And I know it’s not possible yet to marry them legally. But when the possibility will come, I want them to be my wives. And I wanted to ask you both for permission.” She looks at them scared.

“Ohh, Finley.” Eliza stands up and goes to hug her. “Of course you have my permission to marry Alex. I could never imagine better wives for her. You three are so amazing together.” She smiles and kisses Finley on the forehead. She pulls away and Vivian takes her place.

“I agree with Eliza. I couldn’t imagine anyone that could make my girl happier than you and Alex. You have my blessing, darling.” She hugs her and Finley beams.

“Thank you. This means so much to me. I can’t even imagine my life without them, so I have to make sure they stick around as long as it’s possible. Now I just need to have a fully working leg to get down on one knee” She jokes. Things are going perfect right now. **

Later that evening as their family left and Vivian went to the guest room to rest, Finley was lying comfortably with her girlfriends.

“We met J’onn earlier.” Alex begins. “He asked about you. We told him that Maggie takes care of you. He didn’t know Maggie resigned.”

“Oh?” Fin looked at the redhead. “You didn’t tell him?”

“I kind of forgot. And since he’s afraid to read my mind anymore...”

“That’s cause you're a pervert.” Maggie laughs. “Thinking bout the nasty 24/7”

“Hey! Don’t mind me, those are my thoughts, can’t do anything about it!” Alex pouts.

“Well back to the main point, he offered me a job at the DEO.” The raven-haired woman said, looking at Finley. “Starting January 2nd.” “That’s amazing!” Fin hugs her girlfriend. “Congrats baby, you can work with us now.”

“She didn’t accept it yet.” Alex murmured.

“Wait why?” The black-haired woman frowned. It was an amazing opportunity, why didn’t Maggie say yes?

“I want to take care of you.” The raven-haired woman kissed her girlfriend.

“I’m not a baby. I can take care of myself! They are taking my plaster off soon and replacing it with the brace. I’m really better. You need to accept the job darling.” She looked into her girlfriend's eyes. “Accept it.”

“But...” “No buts. Accept it. I’ll be perfectly fine.”

“Okay.” Maggie sighs. She wanted the job, but also wanted to look after her still healing girlfriend.

“But we’ll need some ground rules. Like you calling us every hour. And if something is wrong, you’ll tell us immediately. And you take care of yourself, taking your medicine, eating and drinking. And you’ll take it easy.”

“I promise. I’ll be fine.” Finley smiles and kisses her. “You okay with it?” She turned to look at Alex.

“Well, I think so. But also if it won’t work out I know that J’onn will just give us days off.”

“That won’t be needed.” Fin kisses the redhead. “I’ll be just fine.” She snuggles into her girlfriend's arm and was soon sleeping.


	5. Part V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: drug abuse, abuse, language, panic attacks

Finley whines as she opens her eyes. Seeing she was alone in bed, again, almost made her cry out. Everything hurt and her girlfriends weren’t there. This day is going to be awful.

It was Maggie’s first day at work, and Finley had to figure everything out herself. She was happy for her girlfriend, of course she was. Finley had told Maggie herself that she needs to accept the job. But she didn’t know how much her leg would hurt after they replaced it with a cast.

While riding on a wheelchair, everything was perfectly fine because there was no pressure on her leg. Fin just sat there and let herself be wheeled around.

But now? Now she struggled with crutches and it was literally hell.

And why were her ribs hurting so much?

She reaches over to her nightstand and takes two painkillers out of her bottle. It should get rid of the pain, even if the doctor told her to only take one pill each six hours, she just needed this pain to end. Closing her eyes she just decided it’ll be the best if she sleeps waiting for it to work.

She woke up a few hours later as her phone was ringing.

“Hi.” She rasps out.

“Finley! Why didn’t you pick up earlier?” Maggie’s worried voice sounds on the other side of the line.

“Sorry baby, I was just napping. Relax, I’m fine.”

“Did you eat and take your pills?” Alex asked worriedly. “Are you in pain?”

“Yeah, I did. I was in a bit of pain, but now I’m better.”

“Okay, alright. Just checking. Just let us know if it gets worse, alright?” Fin could imagine Maggie frowning and she chuckles a bit.

“We have to go. Love you.”

“Love you two too. Bye." She ends the call and groans.

It was 11 am. She had to get up and eat something. Fin frowns, she didn’t want to get up. But she has to, she can’t fuck things up the first day they leave her alone.

And why the hell did everything hurt?! She swallows one more pill and goes to stand up. She grabs her crutches and goes to make herself some food. Just six hours till her girlfriends come home. She’ll be alright.

**

Finley is back resting on the couch. She tried to play some games earlier, but she couldn’t focus, so she just decided on lying on the couch and waiting for her girlfriends to come home. Just a few more hours and she’ll be comfortable in their arms.

Fin wakes up to the sound of the door opening. She fell asleep. Again. The black-haired woman frowned, she slept for almost the whole day.

“Hi baby!” Maggie beams as she enters the living room. “It’s so good to see you!” She sits next to the younger woman and opens her arms for a hug. Fin smiles and throws herself in the arms of her girlfriend.

“Ohh, good to see me? Look at you! You rocking that uniform, damn it, baby, makes me want to go dark just to have you arrest me.” Maggie chuckles and kisses her girlfriend. Fin sighs and goes to sit on her girlfriend lying her head on the raven-haired woman's chest. “Where’s Al?”

“She went to order some food from the Chinese restaurant at the corner.”

“Chinese again?” The black-haired woman laughs.

“You know, she’s a Danvers.” The shorter woman laughs under her. Finley looks her girlfriend in the eyes. She always finds comfort in them. Maggie’s eyes were always so soft, full of love and adoration, and the black-haired woman could stare for hours in them. She sometimes found it overwhelming her, she felt like she was drowning in them.

“Hi." Maggie husked, catching her staring. “You good?”

“Yeah.” Finley gasps. “I just love you so much.”

“I love you too." Maggie smiles and kisses her gently.

“Hey, where’s my love?” Alex pouts as she puts the take out bag on the table and sits on the couch next to them.

“Hmmm...” Fin hums as if she was considering her answer. “Yeah, I guess you should get some love too.” She smiles and reaches to kiss Alex too.

The redhead smiles into the kiss, and sucks Finley’s bottom lip. The younger woman trembled on top of Maggie. She loves it when Alex did that, it made her mind go blank, she could only focus on her lips.

“Love you.” The redhead smiles as she backs away leaving her girlfriend breathing hard.

“Love you too.” She smiles and kisses Maggie's neck while Alex was kissing the shorter woman.

“Love you both. So much.”

**

Maggie is laying on their bed with Finley curled up to her side while Alex was showering.

“Babe?” She asks, wanting Fin’s attention. The younger woman looks up at her.

“Yeah?”

“Can I get a kiss?” Fin smiles and reaches to kiss her and Maggie deepens the kiss switching their positions so she is hovering above her girlfriend. The black-haired woman gasped and she takes her chance to put her tongue inside of her mouth. The shorter woman places her hands under Finley’s t-shirt.

“Mags...” Her girlfriend places her hands on her shoulders and Maggie frowns.

“Yea?”

“I’m tired...” She huffs and looks at her laying girlfriend.

“Tired? From what?!” Her voice rises in volume. “You know what, never mind.” She stands up and decides to go to her showering girlfriend.

Maybe she’ll give her more attention.

**

Finley picks up her phone trying to reach any of her girlfriends for the fifth time in ten minutes. It was late in the evening and they were supposed to be home a long time ago.

‘Why aren’t they picking up? Something happened. They’re hurt. Or worse, they’re dead. Hurt and dead! Oh my God what do I do?!’ Fin begins to panic. She looks at her phone waiting for them to call her back. ‘Or they don’t want me anymore. They definitely don’t love me. I’m the worst girlfriend ever. I didn’t even make them dinner this whole time. Maggie was mad yesterday at me. Of course she was mad, I told her that I’m to tired to have sex with them. But I’m tired. But it's the third time in a row. But I was so sleepy. But it’s my duty as a girlfriend. Oh God, I’m the worst. They sure don’t want me anymore. Will they break up with me? Will they find a better girlfriend? They probably already left and that’s why they aren’t picking up.’ Finley curls up on the couch finding it hard to breathe. She just needs to go to sleep. She reached into her pocket and swallowed two pills. She’ll take a nap, and it would be better. Everything will be better.

**

“... and then Maggie just ran after him, slammed him on the ground and cuffed him.” Finley listens as Alex tells her about their last mission.

The redhead's eyes were shining as she told Fin about how their girlfriend caught a bad guy this afternoon.

Maggie has been working at DEO for two weeks now and both of them were so excited. Finley tries to focus, but her mind is going a hundred miles a minute. She was still at home, trying to heal but she doesn’t seem to get better. Everything hurts and she wonders if it’s even possible to get worse. She finds herself being jealous of her girlfriends. Why were they there having so much fun while she couldn’t even move from her bed without crying from pain?

It wasn’t fair. She was just swallowing pills to make her feel better, but instead she just slept for the whole day. Her bottles of pills were going empty, but she couldn’t go and ask for another prescription, she did that a week ago. Alex brought her pills from DEO stating that it will be enough for two to three weeks, but she used almost all of them in one week.

She needs another bottle and soon, otherwise she’ll just go crazy from the pain.

**

Maggie sighs as she sees her girlfriend sleeping on the couch. Again. They had been held up on a mission, it was late in the evening and all she wanted was a warm meal, cuddles and some sleep. But of course Finley didn’t think of making or ordering anything as she was always sleeping. How much can a person sleep?

Every day as they came home they were greeted by the sign of her girlfriend sleeping. Maggie wonders what she was doing the whole day that made her so exhausted. Their apartment wasn’t cleaned, everything was always the same as the night before. “Something’s wrong?” Alex walks behind her and embraces her in a hug. She didn’t realise she was frowning.

“Nah, I’m good. Can you order some food? I’m going to wake Finley up. Maybe she won’t yell this time.” Alex nods and goes to the kitchen as Maggie goes to the couch.

She was about to wake up her girlfriend when she saw Fin’s phone lit up with signalling an incoming text.

*Will be there tomorrow – V*

It came from an unknown number and she huffs. Who is V? Why will she be here tomorrow? What’s Finley doing behind their backs? This was not a good sign.

Finley had no friends except for their group. She wanted to look at Fin’s phone for more information, but it was password protected.

“What the fuck?” She whispers. Her girlfriend never had any protection on her phone, why did she have it now?

**

Finley phone rings, and she picks it up seeing the unknown number.

“Will be there in ten." A female voice states and ends the call.

Fin had found an old contact that she knew in college who used to sell drugs. Now Fin paid her double every time. Finley felt bad taking money from her savings, but she needed those pills.

She was supposed to take one pill every six hours, but it wasn’t helping her, she still felt pain. So she tried one pill every four hours. Eventually she had to take two pills every time she woke up.

Every day she felt worse. She was sleepy the whole time and became angry if someone woke her up.

Her girlfriends became irritated at her grumpy behaviour and just left her alone. Who would blame them. They were having enough fun at work. Staying longer hours, often coming late in the evening.

Finley didn’t want to do that anymore. At this point she was just waiting for them to break up with her. She was useless like that. They didn’t need a bother like her.

There is a knock on the apartment door. Fin sighs as she goes to open it.

Victoria, her drug dealer, enters the room.

“Here.” She hands Fin two bottles full of Vicodin. “Those are double dosage.” Finley opens the bottle and swallows two pills. She put the bottles in her pocket.

“Yeah, bullshit. Here. Will let you know when I’ll need more.” Finley pays the girl and opens the door to let her out.

But just as she is about to close the door, she feels it being pushed back. The impact makes her close her eyes immediately. There was an arm across her throat and the person's body was pushing her into the wall. ‘Man, that hurt.’

“How could you fucking do this to us?!” She hears Maggie yelling. What was she talking about? Fin’s head hurt and she was trying her best to open her eyes. It was hard breathing with Maggie’s arm pressed against her throat. “We go to work every day, and you what?! Enjoy your time with a hooker?! Who is she?!” Maggie sounds very mad, and Finley feels herself trembling.

She opens her eyes, looks at Maggie’s and panics. They were full of so much anger and Finley has seen it all before.

‘She’s going to kill me.’ She tries to move, but it is like her body is made of lead. She has to run. Run somewhere safe. Maybe if she begs she’ll leave her.

“P-please don’t...” Her voice trembles. Finley feels her tears falling. She was so scared waiting for Maggie to hurt her.

“Maggie what the fuck are you doing?!” Fin hears another voice yelling, the arm around her throat leaves and her legs give up letting her fall heavily to the ground.

“What the fuck am I doing?! This bitch is cheating on us! She didn’t think we’ll be home anytime soon! I saw a whore leaving our apartment! Guess that’s why she doesn’t call us, she’s to busy fucking around!” Maggie yells. “We’re leaving.”

Fin hears the apartment door slamming hard, but she couldn’t focus anymore, she felt herself falling further and further down.

Why is she still feeling so much pain? Why is it so hard to breath? She reaches in her pocket and opens the bottle swallowing a few pills. She needs them to work fast. She needs her pain to end.

**

Alex was being dragged down the street by Maggie. She wasn’t sure what just happened. She comes home, Finley’s is being pinned by their girlfriend to the wall while Maggie yells at her. She saw Fin, she was beyond scared. She needs to know what happened to them. “Mags stop. What the fuck was that?” She turns her girlfriend around, forcing Maggie to look at her. She wants answers now. “What happened?”

“What happened!? Well I come home, and find another woman leaving!” Maggie yells.

“And you just what, assume that Finley’s cheating on us?”

“Well you saw how she reacted!? And you know yourself how she was acting these past weeks! She was always sleeping as we came home, that’s cause she was tired from fucking behind our backs!” Alex sighs. Yes, she’s noticed how their girlfriend has been acting recently, but that was not the reason to assume she’s cheating. Finley would never cheat on them, and wholeheartedly Alex believes that.

Alex knows Maggie has had an awful day, she lost the main suspect on a mission and had hit her head in the process. But that was not an excuse to behave the way Maggie did.

“Okay, okay, how about we go for a walk, alright, you calm a bit, and then we can go back and talk, okay?”

“Whatever.” Maggie huffs angrily. They both walk for a few minutes until Alex sees that her girlfriend has calmed down enough.

“You good?” Alex frowns.

“I think so. I just felt so angry, I don’t even know what got into me. It’s just I saw this woman leaving and all I saw was red.” Maggie looks at Alex terrified. “Oh God, I literally threw our girlfriend into the wall. What have I done?!”

“Yeah, we better just go back and explain it all. Fin didn’t look too good when you dragged me out of the apartment. And I honestly am worried about her. So let’s just go and talk to her.” They both run back to their apartment.

Alex opens the door and looks around.

Her heart drops when she sees their girlfriend lying in the same place when they left. She was so shocked by everything that happened that Alex didn’t even move.

“Hey...Finley?” She says softly but she feels that something is wrong.

“Finley!” She hears Maggie yell in panic and Alex kneels realising that her girlfriend is not breathing, she goes to feel her pulse, but it’s very weak. She needs to be taken to DEO and fast. She pushes the button on her watch and feels her tears falling.

“Finley, come on, wake up!” She pleads, grabbing her girlfriend and stroking her cheek.

One minute later, Kara’s in their living room.

“What’s wrong?” She asks but soon spots Fin on the floor. She picks the unconscious girl in her arms and flies off as fast as possible to the DEO. Alex sits on the floor trying to catch her breath.

This can’t be happening.

She spots an empty pill bottle on the floor. She picks it up and looks at it. It’s not labelled. What did she take? Why did she take it? What did they miss?

“Holy fuck... Fin what did you do? What did we do?” She looks at Maggie who’s fully sobbing on the floor. She crawls to her and hugs her.

“It’s all my fault.” Maggie chokes out. Alex can see her girlfriend struggling to breathe.

“Hey. Look at me.” Alex forces the raven-haired woman to look at her. “Breath with me. In and out.” She helps Maggie calm her breath. “That’s it, you’re good.”

“Alex what did I do?!” The shorter woman throws herself into the redhead arms crying hard.


	6. Part VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentioned drug abuse, language, think that’s all

Alex is sure by now she just hates the medical wing in the DEO. She sits in the hall with Maggie, waiting on more information regarding their girlfriend.

Their girlfriend who overdosed.

Alex wonders where it all went wrong. How did they not see that Finley was struggling? How did they miss that their girlfriend was suicidal? That she was depressed.

Alex sighs as she hugs Maggie closer. The raven-haired woman was silent the whole time and the redhead wishes she could read her thoughts.

“Mags?” She tries but her girlfriend only shakes her head, and goes back to staring at Finley’s door. “Come on, talk to me, I can’t read your mind.”

“I just want this to end.” Maggie whines. “Just go to bed and cuddle and when we wake up, everything will be as it was a few months ago. But again, Fin’s in that fucking room, and we’re here, waiting for anything, any info about her. And I’m just tired. I’m tired of her.”

“You don’t mean that” The redhead gasps.

“No, you’re right. I don’t. I’m just... I don’t know. I thought it was okay and I’m just wondering where it went wrong. Nothing makes sense anymore. There’s so many questions I have. She promised she will let us know when something will be wrong. Are we supposed to watch her like a baby now? How can we leave her on her own, when she just can’t take care of herself? How do you know the next time we leave her she won’t, I don’t know, throw herself out of the window? Because I don’t know, Alex, I just don’t.” Maggie takes a deep breath after her rant, her shoulder slumping as she exhales.

“We don’t know what happened yet Maggie.” Alex sighs too, looking at her. ‘What does she mean? Did she not want Finley anymore?’ Alex thinks worriedly.

“Yeah, she sure thought the pills were some kind of candy.” Her girlfriend huffs.

“You say that like you’re mad at her.”

“I am. I am mad at her because she attempted to take her life away.”

“We weren’t exactly there for her over the last few weeks.”

“So you’re saying it’s our fault?” Maggie frowns, turning to look at Alex.

“No.” Alex huffs slightly, trying to keep her emotions in check. “All I’m saying is, I want to help her. And I’m scared, because I don’t know what’s happening behind that door. I’m scared because my, our girlfriend overdosed on God knows what. And we don’t know where she got it.”

“Ohhhh.” Maggie gasps. “I, well, uhh, when I came home... there was this woman leaving... well I assumed she slept with her... but, umm, maybe she’s her drug dealer...? The other day I saw a text on her phone from an unknown number saying something like ‘I see you tomorrow - V’.”

“And you didn’t think of telling me earlier? You went through her phone.” Alex narrows her eyes slightly while looking at her girlfriend, trying not to get angry.

“I don’t want to assume the worst! How was I supposed to know what that was, the message just pinged, her phone was password protected.”

“She didn’t have a password on her phone the two years we’re dating.” Alex frowns.

The door to Fin’s room opens and her Doctor comes out.

“We did a gastric lavage and washed away all the drugs she had in her system. Looks like she has been taking a lot of them over the past few weeks, her liver is damaged. She woke up for a while and we ran tests. It looks like she has had an infection for some time now. Her temperature is high and she told me that everything hurts. She’s attached to a IV and heart monitor. But for now agent Fray is stable. She fell asleep after we checked her. You can go there if you want.”

“She was sick. And we didn’t even noticed.” Maggie gasps.

“Thank you doctor Hamilton.” Alex nods and looks at her girlfriend.

“You come in?”

“Of course I want to, the fact that I’m mad at her doesn’t mean I don’t care about her anymore.” Maggie looks at her angry.

“Hey, I’m only asking.” Alex shrugs. “We are all tired. And I get it, you’re mad. But she could have died. So I’m going there and I’m going to thank whatever God there is that she made it through. And when she’s out of here, I’m going to stay with her and look after her. Because I don’t want to lose her. I don’t know what I would do if I lose any of you.”

“I don’t want to lose her either.” Maggie sighs. “I love you both, I promise, I just, I’m lost.” Her girlfriend lowers her head and sniffs. “I don’t know what to do anymore.” The redhead embraces the smaller woman in a hug.

“That’s okay if you don’t. We can take it slow day by day. You don’t have to know everything now.” She gently strokes Maggie’s back. “When I went through my alcohol problems, you were there for me. And we did it. So now we just have to do the same with Fin.”

“I totally improvised. I didn’t know what to do, I just did. When I saw that you had the urge to drink, I just occupied you with anything I could think of.”

“And that helped.” The redhead smiles, kissing her girlfriend's forehead. “So we’ll improvise too. It’s not a bad situation. J’onn will give us days off when we want. Or we can switch. We’ll figure it out, okay?” Alex quietly opens the door and enters the room.

She looks at their sleeping girlfriend. This view brought her too many bad memories. Maggie grabs her hand and gives her a reassuring smile.

“Right.” Alex breathes out and they walk to the bed their girlfriend is lying on.

“Hi.” Fin rasps out, looking at them. Her eyes were tired and it was clearly visible that she was in pain.

“Hey, baby. You’re awake!” The raven-haired woman reaches to cup Fin’s cheek, but Alex saw Finley panicking.

Her heart was suddenly beating super-fast and she was breathing hard. Maggie drops her hand as if she was burnt and the redhead cringes. This is not good. She looks at her shorter girlfriend who has a shocked expression on her face, which soon morphs into pain. Maggie blinks fast trying to get rid of her tears and turns away.

“I’m sorry.” Fin chokes out. “I...I didn’t mean to...”

“That’s alright baby.” Alex sighs as she grabs Fins hand and runs her finger over her girlfriend's knuckles. “It’ll be okay. Just breathe.”

**

Finley tried to focus hard on calming her breath. She didn’t want to upset Maggie. She did not want to react that way.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t want this to happen. I swear I’m not cheating on you, please don’t leave.” She cries out lowering her head and looking at her hands. “I swear, please don’t leave me. I promise I’ll do better.”

“It’s okay Fin, it’s okay, breathe with me.” Fin looks at Alex trying to match her breathing. “In and out. There you go.” Alex smiles reassuringly. “We are not gonna leave you, I promise.” She hugs her girlfriend into her chest running her hand along her back. “It’s going to be okay, we’ll help you.” The redhead motions for Maggie to come closer and the raven-haired woman hesitantly does. She looks at them.

“Come here. It’ll be alright, I promise.” So the shorter woman sits on the bed and let’s Alex hug them both. “We’ll be fine.”

**

Maggie is sitting on a chair watching her sleeping girlfriends. J’onn had ordered the medical team to bring Alex and Maggie beds but Alex had crawled onto Fin’s bed in the middle of night as she saw her tossing around, clearly having a nightmare. The sun was starting to rise and the shorter woman stood up to close the curtains. She needed to talk with her girlfriend, but now wasn’t a good time considering Fin was on strong medications for her infection. The Doctors had to put morphine in her IV to avoid having her take the meds to not annoy her liver more than it is. Maggie just hopes it will be over soon and Fin will be finally healthy. They know she will also need to learn how to walk again as they’ll take her brace off, but that is a problem for the future.

“You’re staring.” Alex says before opening her eyes and looking at Maggie. She yawns and stretches, careful not to disturb Fin.

“Yeah, I totally am. Hi. You slept well?”

“Hey, yea, I think so. Bit sore actually, that’s a tiny space. But warm and cosy.” Maggie watches Alex gently kissing Fin’s forehead and standing up. She goes to sit on Maggie and hugs her.

“You want to go home and maybe take a shower?” Maggie asks.

“No, I’m good. Kara will drop by later and get us some clothes. Or do you want to go?”

“I just want this to be over, you know? We can go home and rest.” Maggie leans her head on Alex’s chest and sighed.

“Me too.”

“Hey...” They turn as they hear Finley speaking quietly.

“Hi.” They both stand up and go to her bed. “How are you feeling?” Alex asks. “I think I’m better. At least nothing hurts yet.” Fin smiles sleepily.

“That’s good, amazing actually.” Alex smiles too and Fin tries to sit up. “Woo, Easy there.” Alex rushed to help their girlfriend.

“It’s alright. We should probably talk.”

“Yes, I want to apologise.” Maggie begins dropping her head in shame. “I really should not have lashed out like that. I know that it’s a lame excuse, but I had a really bad day and I think I just snapped seeing that woman leaving our apartment. I know you wouldn’t cheat on us, I just don’t know what happened.” She feels Fin grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad.”

“But you should be! You tried to kill yourself because of me!” The raven-haired woman breaks down and begins to sob.

“I did not! Hey, look at me. Both of you. I’m sorry. I didn’t actually tried to kill myself, it was stupid of me. I’ve just been in much pain lately. It began 2 weeks ago, everything was hurting and I couldn’t think straight, so I took more medicine that was prescribed. I know I should've told you, but I didn’t want to bother you. But the meds wore off too fast by the time, so I took more, and then I just was sleeping the whole time and woke up to only take more medicine. But it wasn’t actually helping me. And well, that woman was an old friend, she fixed some pills for me, but she said these one I took were double dosage. I didn’t actually believe her, so I took too much and... I didn’t really want this to end like that. I’m sorry.” Alex sighs and hugs them both.

“We need to work on your communication Fin. You have to tell us about these things. But also we should’ve noticed it. And you...” She looked at Maggie. “Need to blow off your steam before going home. We need therapy after all of this. All of us.

**

Finley sighs as she is sitting on her bed in the DEO. Across her sat a woman, her name was Kelly and she was their new therapist.

As Alex said a few days ago, they needed therapy. But Fin had zero desire to talk to that woman, in fact, she already hated her for the way she kept looking at Alex. Like she wanted to steal her. And Fin will be damned if she ever let’s that happen.

“So, Finley. We can sit here in silence or we can talk about what’s going on your head.” Kelly tries to start a conversation but Fin frowns.

“How do you know MY girlfriend?” The black-haired woman almost growled seeing the smirk that displays on Kelly’s face. ‘Keep it cool. The key is to gather info.’

“So you might not know it yet, but James Olsen is my brother. I met Alex a few years ago and helped her with her drinking problem. Unfortunately I had to move away for a while as I’m also an army therapist. But now I’m back and Alex asked me if I could help you three figure things out.”

“When was that? When did you meet her?”

“It was four years ago. I met her when she started to date Maggie.”

‘So she never got the chance. But with everything that happened she can try and steal Alex from me. From us. Or maybe she’ll steal both of them. Yea, as soon as she realises how fucked up I am, she’s going to tell them and she’s going to steal them. I can’t talk to her. Under any circumstances. Play it cool Fin.’

“That’s nice.” Finley nods as she stares at the woman.

“So how are you feeling today?” Fin wants to laugh at how Kelly was still trying to start a conversation with her.

“Good.” Fin says tensely.

“Good?”

“Yes. I’m perfectly fine. I don’t need therapy when I don’t have any problems. You should totally focus on Maggie and Alex.”

“I can’t help you if you won’t share what’s bothering you. And I have to speak individually with all of you before we can have a conversation altogether. So if you want to help them, you have to let me in.” Finley huffs, growing frustrated. She was fine, she didn’t need help from some therapist wanna be that wanted to destroy her relationship.

“I don’t need help from you! You just want to steal them from me! They’ll realise they can have better than me and they're gonna leave me! You just need to know how fucked I am to go and tell them... and tell them to leave me! You’re not trying to help me, you’re trying to destroy me!” She sobs as she hugs her pillow. “I can’t do this without them. Don’t steal them away... Please...”

“Finley, I’m not trying to steal them away from you-”

“Bullshit! I saw how you were looking at Alex!” She yells interrupting Kelly.

“Alex is my best friend. And I’m married.” Kelly says calmly.

“O...oh...” Finley frowns and looks at her.

“M...married...?” “Yes, I have a wife, Finley, a beautiful wife that I love very much and she’s carrying my baby.”

“Ohhh...” Fin looks at the woman trying to wipe her tears away. “Congratulations...”

“So believe me when I’m saying I don’t want to steal your girlfriends from you. And even if I wanted, that would be impossible, because these two are just so in love with you.” Fin fidgets uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry... for yelling at you. I’m just so scared they’ll leave me someday.” “Why do you think that?” Kelly asks while grabbing her notepad and her pen.

“Well, I’m useless. I can’t do things myself with the brace on. I can’t work. I don’t even cook well. I can’t help them at work, I’m just forced to stay at home. What if something happens and I’m not even there to protect them!?” Fin cries out.

“You’re scared that something will happen to them?” “Of course I am scared. I’ve never had anyone so close to me in my life. Maggie and Alex, but also all of their friends, Kara, and Eliza, who treats me like her own child. If I ever lose them, any of them...” Fin falters.

“Do they know your fears?” Kelly looks at her.

“No, why would they. I will look desperate. They’ll just be with me out of pity.”

“You need to communicate more. I know they told you that too. Because communication is the key. They are not able to always see what’s wrong and this can cause situations where you are bottling everything inside and they think you’re fine. They won’t be able to help you when you don’t let them in. We can work on that more in our group session. You’re not alone in this and they’re there to help you to reassure you that they are not going anywhere.”

“You think they won’t leave me?” Finley looks at her therapist with hope.

“I know for a fact that they won’t leave you. But that I’ll leave for them to tell you.” Kelly nods and looks out of the window. “You feel insecure now. You feel left out cause you have to stay home. But at the end of the day, they come home to you. Not anyone else. They come home to your arms. You need to look at it from their perspective. Your girlfriends are working and no matter how much they love their job, they miss you there too. So after their shift the first thing they want is to see you. Relax together and cuddle. I know that from what they told me but also it’s what I am doing. After my shift I go home and cuddle my wife. I lay my head and listen to the heartbeat of my child.”

“You’re really excited to be a mother?”

“I am.” Kelly smiles brightly. “We tried for a long time and we had to do a lot of treatments. I came home from work one day and she gave me a onesie with ‘I love my moms' written on it. I cried.”

“How far is she?” Finley was genuinely curious about it. While she didn’t think of having kids herself yet, she could wait for a chance to be an aunt.

“Five months.” The woman beams.

“Boy or a girl?” “We didn’t want to know. We’re making everything gender neutral. We only care and pray that this little person will be healthy. I secretly pray that they will have their mothers green eyes.”

“We’ll I’m crossing my fingers for you.” Finley smiles and wipes away her tears. Talking about Kelly’s kid calmed her down.

“Do you want children?” Kelly looks at her. “I don’t know yet. I really haven’t thought about it. I’ve never actually seen a baby up close. I’ll just settle for a chance I will be an aunt. Maybe someday Kara and Lena will have kids. Or maybe James and Lucy. I would love to have a dog though.”

“What kind?”

“A Husky. No, a Labrador. Or maybe a Golden Retriever? German Shepherd. Chow-chows are very fluffy! Border Collie? I don’t know, I want all of them!” Both women laugh. “I just love dogs so much. I’ve never had one, but they are the best!”

“Well did you talk about it with your girlfriends?”

“No... I don’t want to bother them. What if they don’t want a dog? Or what if they want a cat? This would be the worst.” She frowns.

“See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. You wouldn’t know if you don’t ask. So we can make that your assignment. You talk to your girlfriends about getting a dog. Do we have a deal?”

“But...”

“Do we?” Kelly held out her hand.

“Yeah.” Finley gently shakes it. “I’ll try to talk to them. Thank you.”

“It’s getting late. I’ll come tomorrow and you’ll tell me if your girlfriends want a dog or not, okay?”

“Wait, I have to talk to them today!?” Finley gasps. This woman tricked her.

“You can do it. See you tomorrow.” Kelly stands up from chair and leaves her room.

“Bye...” The black-haired woman whines. ‘This is going to be fun…’.

**

Finley opens her eyes and yawns. She must’ve fallen asleep after Kelly left.

“Hey sleepyhead.” She looked at Alex and smiled. “Was that a good nap?”

“Hi. It was. Kelly exhausted me.” Fin reaches for the redhead’s hand and squeezes. Her girlfriend stands up from the chair and sits on Finley’s bed instead.

“How did it go?” Her girlfriend kisses her forehead and embraces her in a hug.

“Good.”

“Good? Why do you look like you cried the whole session?” Alex raises her brow and Fin scolds herself. Communication.

“Uhh... Where’s Maggie?” She looks around the room, but her other girlfriend was nowhere to be found.

“She’s picking up some food. She’ll be here any minute. You will tell us what’s going on?” “No, cause that’s embarrassing.”

“What’s embarrassing?” Maggie asks, entering the room with a bag of take out.

“I’m embarrassed. Hi Mags.” Fin smiles as her girlfriend comes closer, putting the food on the table near her bed and reaching to kiss her cheek. “What do you have there?”

“Well for a difference I have ordered some Italian food.” The raven-haired woman reaches in the bag and gives them a container with food.

They eat in silence and Finley thinks of the best way to talk to them. When they were finished, they all lay on the bed. There wasn't much space so Fin lay on Alex and Maggie lay beside them with her hand over both of them.

“I want a dog.” Finley finally mumbles into Alex’s chest.

“What? We can’t hear you when you’re talking to my boobs.” The redhead laughs and Fin lifts her face from Alex’s chest. “Tell us again.” The black-haired woman sighs and she closes her eyes.

“I want a dog.” Her voice trembles.

“Oh, what kind of dog?” Maggie asks.

“What?” Finley looked at her shocked.

“Like a small dog, a big dog, buying a puppy or adopting from a shelter?”

“I know what you asked, I just... I expected you to say no.” She frowns.

“Why? We want you to be happy. Plus you barely want anything, ever, so I think it’s an amazing plan.” The redhead kisses her forehead.

“I just... didn’t want to be a bother.”

“You are not a bother. It’s okay to want something.” Maggie reaches to cup her cheek and the younger woman flinches.

“Sorry.” The black-haired woman takes Maggie’s hand. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to.” Finley sighs and lifts her girlfriend's hand onto her cheek. “And I don’t know what kind of dog yet. There are so many amazing dogs I just can’t choose. But would you want a dog?”

“Yes, I wanted a dog for some time now.” Alex smiles.

“We are not naming our dog Gertrude.” Maggie laughs.

“You wanted to name your dog Gertrude!?” The black-haired woman laughs looking at the frowning redhead.

“It’s a very nice name for a dog!”

“Yeah, I bet it is. Gertrude I hereby command you to come here.” Finley says in her best serious tone.

“Hey, stop being an ass.” Alex starts tickling her and Fin laughs loudly.

“Okay, okay, stop! Maggie help!” But instead of helping, her raven-haired girlfriend teams up with the redhead. Tickling Finley till she cries from laughing. Only then did they stop.

“I love you.” Fin says as she lays her head on Alex’s chest.

“I love you two too.” The redhead kisses her head. “Sleep well baby.”

“And I love you both.” Maggie whispers and hugs them tight.

Finley focused on their breathing as she falls asleep.


End file.
